Growing up, the most common response I recall hearing from my parents was "no"....no discussion, no question asking, just a quick, automatic, pre-programmed "no". I understand that "no" is quite often an appropriate response to a child, especially when she is the youngest of 5 Farmer's daughters, but in these situations...
...Can we give Suzy a ride home from the picnic? no.
..I'm super tired from unloading hay bales all day could I sleep in past 8am tomorrow? no.
...may I have an afternoon snack? no.
Consistency with "no" responses seemed to be my parent's strength.
Inevitably, my first responses as an adult on my own were equally quickly and consistently delivered "yes"es. The result - I over-committed, under-delivered, gave too much of myself away in unhealthy relationships, struggled with boundaries, suffered with my risky/poor decisions, enjoyed the freedom but suffered the fall. I had not developed the ability to apply good judgement, question things, see that I had choices, be rational, think things through, use my head.
But God blessed this broken road, giving me the chance to do things differently once I became a parent. I'm fighting the automatic "no". I'm working toward a middle ground that sounds like...
..."let's talk about it"
..."say more about that"
..."why is this so important to you"
I hope I've inherited my parent's consistency gene, but intend to use it in a different way.
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