Loved the way you lied

Lord Tennyson's poetic line 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' has rung true to millions of people for over one hundred years. In life, love and loss are common themes, right? You can probably recall a time when you lost at love but it's likely you look back on it wistfully...remembering how great it was to be in loves embrace.

But what about relationships that never should have been?
Relationships where it would have been better to have never loved at all?
Like when love is dangerous - filled with unexpected twists and turns.
Like when a tornado meets a volcano*.

Violent relationships where women are threatened, harmed, pinned down, alienated, belittled.
Where danger becomes a lifestyle.
Where they tell themselves maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems*.

Relationships where episodes of violence are punctuated by their lover's sober periods of regret and the sorries pour out...I'm to blame...Don't go...I can't go on without you...You're my world; the the love of my life.  I love the way you lie*

What is remembered about these relationships... the feeling of a lovers embrace?  Or are the memories dripping with confusion and wondering about how things went so bad?
Memories of feeling numb, broken, isolated, small.
Cautiously inching through life on high alert.
Unarmed in a war zone where love doesn't live anymore

Thankfully, some women come awake,
gain strength and one day say

No more

I've had enough

Maybe they're drunk on hate.  A fuel that drives them to say next time...there will be no next time*.

Still the question remains...Was it better to have loved and lost in those relationships?
Perhaps it would have been better to have never loved at all.

 *Lyrics from "Love the way you lie" by Eminem - with Rhianna, a domestic abuse survivor.
This post is dedicated domestic abuse survivors everywhere with a special thanks to the Manitowoc, Wisconsin Domestic Violence Center. Free, anonymous and confidential help is available to women in abusive situations 24/7 from anywhere in the U.S. by calling 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).